Commentary:
Humour is a vital survival element in EMS. Sometimes it is delivered in the form of a cartoon or as a joke filled with gallows humour; other times it is a brilliant use of satiric alliteration stolen from some other master. Represented here is one such example, delivered by a veteran of the streets to a "newbie" questioning his methods.
It appeared first on an EMS Internet discussion list in September, 2005 and represents not only an outstanding example of Mr. Brosius' literary abilities, but also stands as a revealing commentary on the state of EMS. KPR
**************
Veteran:
"You want answers?"
New Kid: "I think I'm entitled to them."
Veteran: "You want answers?"
New Kid: "I WANT THE DIAGNOSIS!"
Veteran: "YOU CAN'T
HANDLE THE DIAGNOSIS!!
Son, we live in a world with sick patients, and those patients need to be cared for by Medics with critical thinking skills. Who's going to do it? You?
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly imagine. You stress and fret over an ECG, not knowing the etiology. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know... that the ECG, while slow, is not clinically significant. And that bradycardia, while benign, possibly takes lives.
You don't want the diagnosis because deep down in places you don't talk about at the station,
you WANT me on that bus...
you NEED me on that bus!
We use words like
I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to people who learn and grow under the tutelage that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it. I'd rather you just say thank you, and go on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some trauma shears and stand a post.
Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!"
-
(With acknowledgement to Aaron Sorkin: "A Few Good Men" - Ed.